Because I'm a man,

when the car isn't running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at.
If another man shows up,
one of us will say to the other,

" I used to be able to fix these things,
but now with all these computers and ecerything,
I wouldn't know where to start."

We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man,

 

when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart,
despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here
and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man,

 

I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.
If the thing has been misplaced,
I may miss a whole show looking for it
(though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

 

Because I'm a man,

 

I don't think we're all that los, and no,
I don't think we shold stop and ask someone.
Why would you listen to a complete stranger I mean,
how the hell could he know where we're going ?

Because I'm a man,

you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are,
if you're crying at the end of it,
I didn't.

Because I'm a man,

 

I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.
Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it looks fine.
Your hair is fine.
You look fine.

Can we just go now ?

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