
Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an idiot
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He who laughs last thinks slowest
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If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
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Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
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I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous
and give the wrong answers.
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Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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Half of the people in the world are below average.
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Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
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Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
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Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
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Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
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Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
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When in darkness or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
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I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
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I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
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