TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
1. You can get arrested for growing plants,
but not for smoking them.
2. You can make jokes about the Belgians
and still drink their beer.
3. They pay you back by selling you illegal fireworks
and let you blow up small parts of your country.
4. You're exactly like the Germans,
excapt that nobody hates you.
5. You think you are a world power,
but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital ...
6. You get to insult people
and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.
7. You can put your finger in a dyke
and it will safe your country
a.
You can legally kill yourself
b. You can legally be killed
8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe,
and still you've never seen your neighbors.
9. If the economy is bad,
blame the Germans.
If a war is started,
blame the Germans.
If you loose your keys,
blame the Germans.
10. Bikes are public property.
Locks are a challenge.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
1. You get to speak three languages,
but none of them intelligibly.
2. If other countries want to fight a war,
they will do in your country.
3. You can brew drinks out of fruit,
and still call it beer.
4. You are either
a. like the Dutch, just less efficient
b. like the French, just less romantic
c. like the Germans
5. Decent fries.
Real mayonnaise.
Great chocolate.
The best beer.
Need I say more ?
6. No one knows anything about you,
except for the Dutch and French
and they make fun of you.
7. More scandals in a week
then any other country in a decade.
8. You can drive like a maniac on the road
and nobody cares.
9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary,
or sex - offenders.
10. Face it.
It's not really a country, is it ?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
1. When speaking fast
you can make yourself sound gay.
2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup
for the first time.
3. You get to eat insect food like snails
and frog's legs.
4. If there's a war
you can surrender really early
5. You don't have to read the subtitles
on those late night films on Channel4.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons
in other people's countries
( Well who hasn't eh? )
7. You can be ugly
and still become a famous film star.
8. Allow Germans to march up and down
your most famous street humiliating
your sense of national pride.
9. You don't have to bother with toilets,
just sh*t in the street.
10. People think you're a great lover
even when you're not.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have a woman president
without electing her.
2. You can spell color wrong
and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook
and still be president.
5. If you've got enough money
you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you can breathe
you can get a gun.
7. You get to be really obese.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes
ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
10 a. When you're not.
10 b. At all.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
1. You get to pay the highest taxes
in the world.
2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer
3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year
and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half.
4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
5. You can go skiing in your knickers.
6. You get to hate the Swedes
and beat the Brazilians in football.
7. You have to be a woman
to get anywhere.
8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing
- its fairly spacious.
9. When abroad you can impress people
you meet with stories about killing polar bears
and shagging penguins —
and they believe you.
10. You can actually get bored with blondes.
11. You get to wear fantastic jumpers.
( sorry Espen )
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup — doo — dah,
doo — dah
2. Proper beer
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously
in major sporting events
5. Union jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed
every single summer
7. You can live in the past
and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week
- whether you need to or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. Beats being Welsh.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCHOTTISH
1. You ain't English !
2. You ain't English !
3. You ain't English !
4. You ain't English !
5. You ain't English !
6. You ain't English !
7. You ain't English !
8. You ain't English !
9. You ain't English !
10. You ain't English !
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history prior to 400 b.c.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks
Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded
by Germans, Danes, Brits, ect.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella
and claims it's the real thing.
6. Honesty
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman
is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes
and risk your life in front of bulls.
8. You get to eat bulls' testicles
9. Gibraltar
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMEN
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Give them a second chance
1. Oktoberfest
2. Oktoberfest - beer
3. BMW
4. VW
5. Audi
6. Mercedes
7. On a highway you can travel at a speed
that whould bring you to jail in any other country of the world.
8. You do not have to learn german as a foreign language.
9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
10. Contrary to common believe laughing
is not forbidden by law.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
1. Chicken Madras
2. Lamb Passanda
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Bombay Potato
5. Chicken Tikka Masala
6. Rogan Josh
7. Popadoms
8. Chicken Dopiaza
9. Meat Boona
10. Kingfisher lager
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you ?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
1. Guinness
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
3. You can get into a fight yust by marching down
someone's road.
4. Pubs never close.
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed
in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend
that you can't have sex with a condom on.
6. No one can ever remember the night before.
7. Kill people you don't agree with
8. Stew
9. More Guinness
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub
at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
1. It beats being an American
2. Only country to successfully invade the US
and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year,
outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the US
and burn its capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water
in a canoe ?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot
and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
7. Only country to successfully invade the US
and burn its capital to the ground.
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge f**koff
shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully invade the US
and burn its capital to the ground.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering
bar steward that no civilized nation on earth wanted.
2. Fosters Lager
3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived
in your country for 40,000 years
because you think it belonges to you.
4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.
10. Having a bit of a swim
and then drink some cold lager on the beach.
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